Kathleen Parker Argument By Assertion

20May08

I really disliked this recent column by Kathleen Parker in the Washington Post. In fact it’s so awful, I almost feel like I’m missing something, like there has to be something I’m unaware of. I figured I would go through it and discuss it’s most repugnant parts. My guiding theory is Kathleen Parker had so many bad things about John Edwards and Barack Obama to say that she forgot to actually argue that any of the vile she was spewing was true.

Well, at least they didn’t kiss.

I was bracing myself for the lip lock Wednesday when John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama.

Don’t look at me. David “Mudcat” Saunders, Edwards’s former rural adviser, came up with the idea, saying Obama should kiss Edwards on the lips “to kill this 41-point loss,” referring to Hillary Clinton’s landslide victory in the West Virginia primary.

So Edwards and Obama are gay. Why? Because they hugged each other. Basically if you think any two Democrats that touch each other are gay, then she’s made a really strong point here.

Enraptured by his own message, Edwards seemed reluctant to hand over the microphone. He finally relinquished the stage, after describing, yet again, the “wall” that he says divides Americans: “There is one man who knows in his heart that it is time to create one America, not two. And that man is Barack Obama.”

Who’s message is John Edwards supposed to enraptured by? He’s politician, he gave a speech. His speech sounded just like any other political speech.

The “wall” refers to the one Edwards erected in the hearts and minds of Americans who hadn’t yet realized they were miserable, disenfranchised and seething with rage — not the wall that used to run through Berlin.

Obama and Edwards make an attractive picture — Ultra Brite cover boys of youth and glamour united against old men (and women) who worship the status quo. Obama — the man who makes Chris Matthews feel a thrill up his leg — wants to “do the Lord’s work,” lately pictured in front of a cross illuminated with vanity lights on a flier aimed at Kentucky voters, while Edwards wants to roll out the catapults and nuke the Coliseum.

But their message of unity gets lost in a din of cognitive dissonance. To succeed, they must first create a divide of resentment the size of Montana among the have-not-enoughs toward those perceived as having too much. No one has tried this more brazenly than Edwards with his “two Americas” campaign, which failed twice, by the way.The question — should this duo have its way — isn’t “When will the poor be wealthy enough?” but “When will the wealthy be poor enough?”

Again implied gayness. What’s gay? Vanity lights, which I’m sure Republicans never use.

Also we get the implication that Edwards is hates rich people. Why? Well he said there are two Americas and that must mean it’s all about hurting rich people. If you don’t see why saying there is inequality in America means that you’re all about hurting rich people, it’s because it doesn’t. Inequality in America is a fact, mentioning it doesn’t make you a demagogue.

While we’re waiting to find out, Edwards’s tortured Southern shtick is supposed to help Obama with the demographic of white, rural, working-class (non-college) Americans he’s been having trouble with. Green room translation: poor, ignorant racists.

Again there’s no actual argument here. Edwards is a fake southerner. Why? No particular reason given.

Also we’re kinda told that Democrats think that rural white working class voters are racists. Why. No particular reason given.

All in this one of the worst columns I’ve read in a while. A lot of bloggers like to criticize Fred Hiatt of the WashPost for hiring people like Kathleen Parker, which I think is basically valid criticism. But obviously just saying that the stuff Kathleen Parker is writing is vile and idiotic won’t be enough to get Fred Hiatt to fire her, or make her change her columns at all. Fred Hiatt’s read the column and for reasons we can only guess at he disagrees.

But I really think that it’s a reasonable to expect that that Washington Post not publish articles that insinuate politicians are gay.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Fred Hiatt, John Edwards, Kathleen Parker